Most weekends I run. Often, I pace or guide runners in events. My job is to help others finish their event in their goal time. I have done this dozens of times in full and half marathons as well as ten milers and other distances. I have done this successfully many many times. But I am human. And when weather changes and my body is not adequately rested and prepared, I can mess up like anyone.

On Sunday I was at a race I love. Coastal Delaware runs through Rehoboth and Cape Henlopen State Park. I have done this race successfully over a half dozen times. Sunday in sun and humidity, and after donating two units of blood earlier in the week, my body couldn’t hold the pace. I made it to ten miles, but then had to walk, something that I never want to do. I had to lower my pace sign and take off my shirt to avoid confusing others who were using me to judge their own pace.

Failure is never easy. Letting people down really hurts. So how do you handle adversity? First thing that I did was admit my mistakes. I asked for help. I looked for the gratitude I feel. I am blessed to be able to run and race, and be able to help others. One of my favorite phrases as I run is “you can race without me, but I can’t pace without you.” And I am grateful to be out amongst other runners, doing something that I love, even if I fell short.

But the head is a hard place. There were parts of me that blamed me for going out too fast. For not preparing adequately. For not finishing when I said that I would. I have had to hear those voices and realize that life doesn’t mean an endless stream of successes, but punctuated moments of joy interspersed among many challenges. I hope to rise from this challenge to race, guide and pace better moving forward. More self aware. More prepared. And more determined not to finish with the bitter taste of disappointment. Be well!